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A casual long-distance relationship just for the sake of it didn’t hold any appeal for either of us.When we realised that we both wanted more than a friendship, we agreed that the relationship needed to have clear definition and intentionality.After a whirlwind week where you manage to cram in a months’ worth of getting to know you, he leaves, back to his life and you to yours.The inevitable ennui sets in, but before you chalk this up to another fling with no staying power, do yourself a favor: Consider the adult long-distance relationship.I dated someone long distance in college for three years, and while it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, it certainly wasn’t the best.For starters, we were 20 years old, that tricky age where every decision is both extremely important and completely irrelevant.In the dark ages before texting and sexting and the ease of constant communication afforded to us by our personal devices, I spent a lot of time on the phone and on Instant Messenger, smoothing over hurt feelings or picking fights.

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The great prize in marriage is Christ-centered intimacy; the great prize in dating is Christ-centered clarity.You need to recognize the dangers before entering into the situation. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends and your family. Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need.Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. it’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late. Be it a small pendent, a ring, a keychain, a CD of songs and videos, or a bottle of fragrance.One of the key factors in the success of our against-the-odds relationship were the ground rules that we adopted during our LDR.We didn’t sit down and hammer these ground rules out – they emerged organically out of our values and our personalities, but they were well-discussed and understood by both of us, and played a major role in safeguarding and growing our relationship.




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